Fear Not

Fear Not      

 mixed media collage, 9 x 5 inches

ingredients: map fragments, vintage book pages, image transfers, watercolor pencils, mica, stitching

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
― Marie Curie



“I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good.”
― Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

Drawing Challenge: Cocoon

This week's drawing challenge, hosted by Patrice, is COCOON. An fascinating concept to me, since much of my art has transformation, or metamorphosis, as a continuing theme. A cocoon is something that protects and provides safety as that process takes place, until the new, transformed being is ready to emerge.

Chrysalis I

I am currently in a particularly transformative and difficult period of my life. Major change is always a challenge for me; it feels safer to cling to the status quo, to stay where I am rather than venture into new territory. For many of us, change is scary.  For me, it is a struggle not to let that fear rule my life.

Chrysalis II

I recently read a truly moving and inspiring post about fear on Crystal Neubaur's wonderful blog. Her writing on the subject is both eloquent and thoughtful; it gave me some important insights and made me feel less alone.  I strongly encourage you to read this wonderful piece here.

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.                                                            ~ Henry Ford

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.                                                                                                 ~Anais Nin


Head over to Patrice's beautiful blog to see more interpretations of COCOON.

Instructions

how to assist a person with an anxiety disorder

things we are trying to do all the time: 1. be safe

things we can’t help but do all the time:
1. second-guess ourselves 2. behave impulsively and reactively and defensively

3. take everything personally 4.worry 5.worry 6.worry 7.have difficulty
accepting compliments
8. have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures 9. have difficulty
finding the courage to respond 10. have difficulty not being
suspicious of others’ intentions 11. make a huge deal out of the
smallest thing
things you should keep in mind:1.we’re scared of everything 2. pretty
much all of the time 3. it’s an actual disorder
4. it manifests as impulsive behavior 5. you can’t fix us with words 
6.telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying

7. it’ll only make us feel silly 8.and then we’ll worry even more
9.“oh god, am i worrying too much? what if she calls me silly
again?”10.like that 11.also, we wear a lot of armor 12.cold,
heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes 13.we constructed this armor
as children
14.we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart

15.but there is a nice person under there, we promise

 things you can do
for a friend with an anxiety disorder:
1. stick around 2.ask him/her if they’re comfortable in a place or
situation 3.be willing to change the place or situation if not 
4.activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
5. talk to them even when they might not talk back 6.(they’re probably
too afraid to say the wrong thing )7.try not to take their reactions
(or lack thereof) personally 8.(the ways they express themselves are
distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
9. (and they know this) 10.give them time to respond to you 11.they
will obsess over how they are being interpreted 12.they will anticipate
being judged 13.it took me four hours just to type this much
14. even though i sound casual 15.that’s because i have an anxiety
disorder

things you shouldn’t do:1. tell us not to worry
2. tell us we’ll be fine 3.mistake praise for comfort 4.ask us if we
are “getting help”5. force us to be social 6. force us to do things
that trigger us7.“face your fears” doesn’t always work
8. because—remember—scared of everything9.in fact, it would be more
accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself

emergency action

procedure for panic attacks:
1. be calm2.be patient3. don’t be condescending4. remind us that
we’re not crazy 5.sit with us 6.ask us to tighten and relax our
muscles one by one 7.remind us that we are breathing
8. engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)9.
if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly10.
 or breathe through our nose11. or have us put our hands on our
stomach to feel each breath
12.  ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to
feel safe13.  help us change it 14.  usually, just knowing that we have
someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is
enough to calm us down

if You have an anxiety disorder: 1. it’s okay.2.even if you worry that
it’s not okay.3. it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to
be scared of being scared.
4. you are not crazy. you are not a freak.5. i know there’s a person
under all that armor.6. and i know you feel isolated because of it.7.
i won’t make you take it off.8. but know that you are not alone.

 

Don't Forget to Breathe

10.5 x 7 inches

ingredients: vintage book pages, image transfers, found objects, vintage dress pattern, vintage ephemera,

 stitching, on vintage book cover

I don't know who wrote the brilliant poem/words above; if you know who the author is, please let me know so that I can credit him/her. 

Better, Worse, or Just the Same?

In a recent post, I mentioned that I wasn't happy with the first of three pieces that I did for a client.  I had hoped to send her photos of at least three, so that she could choose one to go with two others she had already purchased.  So I added some plants on both sides, interrupting and covering most of that big horseshoe-shaped area on the bottom, which I felt was competing too much with the focal point.

       Is it better, worse, or just
              the same?







 Sometimes I debate with myself over whether I've actually improved the piece when I make changes like this.  Often I wonder if what I'm putting in is as good as what I'm taking out.  Was it better before?  Was it worth the risk of losing what I covered up?  At these times I hear the eye doctor's voice echoing in my head, "Is it better, worse, or just the same?"  Looking at an eye chart, though, the choice is usually far more obvious.

In life, as in art, the choices are not often so clear.  So, what do you do?  If we doubt all our choices too much, indecision can easily turn into paralysis.  The outcomes of this type of thinking are that you do nothing, which is a waste of your talent and precious time, or that you let circumstances and/or others make your decisions for you.  And believe me, you might not like the ones they make.

Of course, major life decisions are much more difficult to make than choosing what to glue onto a collage.  If you don't like what you've done to a piece of art, you can glue something else on, tear something off, paint over it, or cut it up and reuse the pieces.  If you make a bad choice in life, you have to live with it, literally.  For many of us, this thought is pretty scary.  Lately, I have found decision-making of any kind daunting.  For example, I'm seemingly unable to figure out what direction I want to take with my work.  This is not a life-or-death decision, so why is it giving me so much trouble? 

                                                                  photos by Colin Reusch

In his article, You Cannot Choose the Wrong Path, Stephen Mills writes, "You can’t possibly know what experiences you would have had if you had chosen differently.  Life is too contingent for that kind of after-the-fact-it-might-have-been obsessing."  He sheds more light on this subject in another post, Why You Should be More Decisive:
"When you spend too much time analyzing a decision, you are usually less satisfied with whatever decision you end up making.  People who consider more factors when making decisions are more likely to worry later that they didn’t make the right decisions.  So they agonize during the decision making process and then worry even after they’ve made a decision."  Yup, that's me.

I like the way Larry Crane puts it:  "Often, it is not the end action that creates the most fear; it is the decision to act or not act. Since life offers no guarantees and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well let go of all of your fear, take the risk, and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you seemingly lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, and even open more fantastic roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life. You have the choice to let go of your fear of deciding."

IT IS ALL A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE.   Can someone remind me of that every three seconds or so?

 OK, these are the three pieces I'm sending to my customer:

Transformation 41

 Transformation 42

Transformation 43

                                                           

That's my final answer.  I'm not phoning a friend.                       

Some Thoughts on Change

My last post was about the new year, the challenge of change, and how frightening it can be.  In regards to that, here are some thoughts by people who express themselves far better than I.  To accompany them I've chosen some photos I took at fall's end, when the earth speaks of the past, the changes under way, and whispers hints of the future...

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year.  It is that we should have a new soul.  -G. K. Chesterton 

It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear...It's like being between trapezes.  It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer.  There's nothing to hold on to.  -Marilyn Ferguson

 The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.  -Charles DuBois

Every great dream begins with a dreamer.  Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.  -Harriet Tubman

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  -Anais Nin

 
I wanted to change the world.  But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.  -Aldous Huxley

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.  But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.  There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.  -Alan Cohen

New Year

I'm kind of late on this one, but I had a screw loose, as Whitney pointed out.  I can't say they're any tighter now, but the one on the computer is okay...

You might notice that I left the "Happy" out of the traditional New Year greeting.  Not that I don't want it to be a happy one; I do indeed hope it will be happy, for all of us.  But what I'm really hoping is that it will be new.  Different.  A fresh start; out of that same old rut many of us have been stuck in.  What we need is change.

All around me, I see people facing big, scary changes, the kind no one wants to confront.  So many friends are facing illness, loss of jobs or income, loss of their homes.  These can cause other losses.  We lose self confidence, direction, sense of purpose.  We are lost. 

We wonder, What next?

Believe it or not, this state of uncertainty, of feeling as if the rug has been pulled out from under you, of being totally lost, is a magical place to be.  It is the crossroads, the "between",  the place of potential and new beginnings.  From this point, all things are possible.  According to spiritual principles, only when something is taken away can something new be brought in; a psychic "space" must be cleared in order to bring in new energy.  

Symbolically, there can be no rebirth without going through the death phase.  A shaman receives his/her power by going through a transformation which usually involves a severe illness, an inner experience of being torn apart and put back together in a new and different form.  It is painful; it feels like you will not survive.

In "When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times", Pema Chodron writes that she had a sign on her wall which read, "Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us."  She goes on to say, "Nevertheless, when the bottom falls out and we can't find anything to grasp, it hurts a lot...  When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something."

My daughter used to say that without the darkness, we wouldn't see the stars.  May each of us see our own stars. 

Transformation 34

I just finished this piece, which I have been struggling with for some time. I have no idea why; it seems pretty simple and straightforward. Sometimes I think I can become too analytical, nit-picking and agonizing over every little decision. It can be difficult to just let go and be in the moment of creating. When I worry too much about the result ("Don't mess up!", as one of my professors told me), I just can't seem to get out of my own way. I always tell my students that making mistakes is nothing to fear, as long as we learn something from it. Words of wisdom, indeed. Remember: it's the process, not the product; it's the process, not the product...