Mending

This much I have learned. Never give up. No matter how broken you are, it is possible to mend. It may take a very long time, and it may be the fiercest struggle you ever face. And you will probably be completely unprepared, like I was.

Mending

mixed media collage, 17 x 11.5 inches

ingredients: vintage book cover, vintage book pages and other ephemera, vintage textile, image transfer, watercolor pencils, found objects, acrylic ink, rice paper, feathers, stitching

available for purchase here

I thought I was unbreakable. Just pile it on, I can take it; I've been doing it for years, right? I never gave any credence to that whole "straw that broke the camel's back" thing. How could one little straw make a difference? After all, it was nothing at all when compared to what I'd already been carrying around for so long.  The phrase, "nervous breakdown" never even crossed my mind.

But I was wrong. To my great surprise, there is a tipping point, and I suddenly landed flat on my back, broken into pieces. There's a saying, attributed to everyone from Leonard Cohen to Rumi, something about the cracks being the place where the light gets in.  That may be true, but that light can be blindingly, relentlessly painful.
 
For a year and a half, that pain seemed unbearable, unsurvivable. It's difficult to talk about this without seeming melodramatic; I just want to say this as plainly and as honestly as I can.  If the last straw has broken the camel's back, the camel will have to build up it's muscles, to become stronger than before. If you lose a wing, it can be mended, and the mended place will be your greatest strength. And someday you may fly again.

You Can Fix It

As some of you may be aware, I've been having somewhat of a hard time lately, attempting to overcome a depressive and anxiety disorder. I found this old book called "You Can Fix It", which I was going to use as an art journal. Unfortunately, the book fell apart after I was only a few pages in, but I thought I'd show you the cover anyway.

Front Cover: The vegetables, fruits, and flowers represent one of the things I find most healing: gardening.  There is just something about getting my hands in the earth and helping things to grow that relaxes me and brings me a sense of peace.

Inside of front cover: I think the paintbrush is self-explanatory, as art is my first great love.  It takes me out of my everyday mind-set to a place where I'm at peace, where I don't notice the passage of time, as if in a deep meditative state. The map represents earth and landscape, and speaks to my love of hiking and being outdoors.




This cracks me up:
The statistics on sanity are that one of every four Americans is suffering from some form of  mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
                                                                                                              ~ Rita Mae Brown




Wishing you all good health, mental and otherwise!  xoxo