how to assist a person with an
anxiety disorder
things we are trying to do all the
time: 1. be safe
things we can’t help but do all the
time:
1. second-guess ourselves 2. behave impulsively and reactively and defensively
3. take everything personally 4.worry 5.worry 6.worry 7.have difficulty
accepting compliments
8. have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures 9. have difficulty
finding the courage to respond 10. have difficulty not being
suspicious of others’ intentions 11. make a huge deal out of the
smallest thing
things you should keep in mind:1.we’re scared of everything 2. pretty
much all of the time 3. it’s an actual disorder
4. it manifests as impulsive behavior 5. you can’t fix us with words
6.telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
7. it’ll only make us feel silly 8.and then we’ll worry even more
9.“oh god, am i worrying too much? what if she calls me silly
again?”10.like that 11.also, we wear a lot of armor 12.cold,
heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes 13.we constructed this armor
as children
14.we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
15.but there is a nice person under there, we promise
things you can do
for a friend with an anxiety disorder:
1. stick around 2.ask him/her if they’re comfortable in a place or
situation 3.be willing to change the place or situation if not
4.activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
5. talk to them even when they might not talk back 6.(they’re probably
too afraid to say the wrong thing )7.try not to take their reactions
(or lack thereof) personally 8.(the ways they express themselves are
distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
9. (and they know this) 10.give them time to respond to you 11.they
will obsess over how they are being interpreted 12.they will anticipate
being judged 13.it took me four hours just to type this much
14. even though i sound casual 15.that’s because i have an anxiety
disorder
things you shouldn’t do:1. tell us
not to worry
2. tell us we’ll be fine 3.mistake praise for comfort 4.ask us if we
are “getting help”5. force us to be social 6. force us to do things
that trigger us7.“face your fears” doesn’t always work
8. because—remember—scared of everything9.in fact, it would be more
accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself
emergency action
procedure for panic attacks:
1. be calm2.be patient3. don’t be condescending4. remind us that
we’re not crazy 5.sit with us 6.ask us to tighten and relax our
muscles one by one 7.remind us that we are breathing
8. engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)9.
if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly10.
or breathe through our nose11. or have us put our hands on our
stomach to feel each breath
12. ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to
feel safe13. help us change it 14. usually, just knowing that we
have
someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is
enough to calm us down
if You have an anxiety disorder: 1. it’s okay.2.even if you worry that
it’s not okay.3. it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to
be scared of being scared.
4. you are not crazy. you are not a freak.5. i know there’s a person
under all that armor.6. and i know you feel isolated because of it.7.
i won’t make you take it off.8. but know that you are not alone.
Don't Forget to Breathe
10.5 x 7 inches
ingredients: vintage book pages, image transfers, found objects, vintage dress pattern, vintage ephemera,
stitching, on vintage book cover
I don't know who wrote the brilliant poem/words above; if you know who the author is, please let me know so that I can credit him/her.
